Dream of becoming yourself

I don’t know whether there were many dry eyes around when our skipper went up to collect his jersey this weekend. Watching him stand there as his coach spoke I could see the emotion on his face. It made me wonder if he knew he was going to have such a huge impact on rugby and New Zealand when he was growing up.

We all dream of becoming someone big. Someone else. A legend in the eyes of everyone and yet none of us imagine of becoming the legends ourselves. The future legends of the worlds. Why dream of becoming the next JKR or Nora Roberts when I can become me. What’s stopping me but me? What’s stopping you but you?

Yeah I know that talk is easy. But you know what, if you’re willing to back it up with hard work, then it’s an awesome start to the best journey you can dream up.

I’ve never been one to shy away from a challenge and in two weeks I get to follow the dream with all my heart and have no excuse to stop me.

So you’ve heard it here first. The challenge is on:-)

You take care





Achieving what you believe

nelson quotes-4For me it’s countdown time. The last year has been challenging to say the least. Sometimes as hard headed as I am- I still haven’t learnt how to say No. I have this tendency to love helping people. Must be a genetic defect because mum has the same problem. Or maybe it comes with the nurse and need to heal thing. Whatever it is, I think I can say without a doubt that I have a weakness for saying yes, when I actually should be taking care of myself. Lucky for me my daughter¬† makes sure I don’t overdo it.

So the next few months are going to be jam packed. To start it off, I get to go for my First Australian Romance Writers Conference in Melbourne. I’m actually looking forward to it. Normally I’d be scared because I’m traveling alone and I don’t know anyone in Melbourne. RWA conferences are usually much bigger than RWNZ so it’s bound to be scary, but I’ve grown up somewhere along the way. Maybe I got better at faking being okay when I’m not, either way, it works:-)

When I get back we have our own RWNZ conference and as I’ve been planning it with some wonderful people all year, I am hoping for a fabulous conference. I also get to handover to the new President of RWNZ and get to have my life¬† back again. I won’t be able to be called the President anymore, but between you and me, I really won’t miss it.

Then there’s Armageddon with my baby girl. We get to meet the original Flash, stars from Arrow, and a few other popular TV shows. Last time I met McGyver, shook his hand and knew anything was possible as long as you tried hard.

Looking in, people might think life is perfect. I wish I could tell you it’s a box of birds. Life is never perfect and nothing is as it seems. People who make it look easy just struggled harder so it seems that way. People who are confident are really insecure at times and wonder when it’s all going to come tumbling down.

I can tell you that life is what you make of it and that you should believe in yourself and visualise what you want and it will happen. I can tell you it works and you might think I’m a little quirky.

But that being said, whatever you believe there’s only one thing that has to be important in your life. Be positive in your own life and don’t wish negativity on anyone else. Life is way to short for that sort of carry on.





Believe It or Not!!!

The last two weeks have been meh. Being someone who can’t stand the cold- it didn’t help that Auckland has been having a cold spell. At times like this it’s hard to be perky, especially when you’re trying to keep it all together. So after a strong dose of antibiotics to fight off a chest infection and after a jab of the good stuff to bring up the B12 levels, maybe perky is an understatement, but at least I’m feeling human again. Okay, almost human again. Anyway back to the important stuff, while I was in my ‘there has to be something better than this phase?’ I decided I was tired of doing nothing to help myself.

I know I’m meant to be busy planning conferences and focusing on being President of a Romance Writers organisation, but I wanted to do something for me. Something that would perk me up and make me believe that all this work and hard sweat was towards something.

So I set myself a goal and decided I would go all out to achieve it. After all, that’s what I do. At least that’s what I try my best to do. So I did my thing and gave it all I had and I hit #1 on the Amazon Best Seller List.

#4 in the Mystery/Thriller and Suspense List.

Do you know this means I can call myself a Best selling author. It’s not as prestigous as NYT or USA best selling, but it is best selling.

That’s huge. That’s a wow. I suppose it’s like making it into the minor leagues.

So my point is- great things do come to those who work hard to achieve their dreams. If you want something, you have to work at it. If you’re not willing to work at something or fight to achieve what you want, then it’s not worth the effort. So aim high, dream big and know that the work you put in will be rewarded.

Much good luck to you, I’m keeping my high for now:-)


number one best seller

Almost hump day!!

To me it feels more like a Monday than a Tuesday evening but what do I know. When you have busy weeks they all seem to melt into each other and you focus on getting through the day rather than thinking about the end of the week.

So you can tell, it’s the usual end of the quarter stuff, which for us in the medical world means, meet those health targets before June 30th. I could say a lot more about how I feel about pushing through lists but I’m too tired for a political debate.

So instead I will focus on this. While I was listening to my usual positive ‘No Excuses’ meditation, I could literally feel all the signs of stress I had. It’s one thing to know about the signs and talk to people about managing their stress levels, but it’s definitely a whole other thing when you have an outer body type experience and you can see yourself in a state of high anxiety.

Writing about it helps, hence the blog and the change in theme of the blog recently. But there is something else that helps too. Focus. Absolute focus on what the end goal is.

Absolute belief this is going to work out and everything will fall into place. So just when I feel I am coming down that slippery slide of hope-less-ness- I have to take a moment, take a breath, believe.

Yes it’s like holding onto something fragile , while being flushed by a huge force, but guess what, you don’t go on this journey alone.

It’s only when I am rushing around, trying to keep up, and find my daughter has my breakfast and coffee ready, that I realize, I am lucky. Really lucky to be given this chance to go after what I really want. Something my parents never had the chance to do. It’s a gift to be able to live your dream, one I am grateful for. It will be so easy to give up. So easy to slip back into the non believer, or the person who walks away from this all consuming need to be different. Be fulfilled. Be amazed at what the world can offer.

I know, it’s me rambling on again, but you know what. This keeps me focused. It keeps me grounded and when I can see that end goal and I know that every shift, every tired never ending day brings me a step closer to what I really want, then it’s worth it.

So again we go on this roller coaster. I think it’s okay to do that. As long as we recognize the signs of that oncoming bus or truck that has exhaustion and burn out in big bright letters on the side. So keep yourself safe.

Music, candles and meditation just to relax. Or maybe just take it easy and do nothing. Pace yourself. Because when your dream does come true, it’s going to be all go!!!

Coffee Cups Saturday- Bazinga!!!

Ever had one of those weeks when everything goes wrong and you think, where is the fast forward button because I could really use a fresh start. Well that’s basically what my week turned out to be. Only I hit the button and it’s now the end of the week and I’m right back where I started. More fool me. Is it me or are the days getting shorter and we’re not able to fit everything we need to do into a full working day? Maybe it’s not the days that are getting shorter, but the lists of things to do that’s getting longer. Either way, I find my coping mechanisms are getting a little worn out and I have to supplement them with a good dose of TLC and positive vibes.

Someone once said to me, why does a person like you need to listen to positive and inspirational speakers? I only needed a second to think about that one. It’s a crazy world out there and with everything going on, it’s so easy to be sucked in by all the bad stuff. If you don’t focus on what’s good in your life, then all that negative emotions tend to rule your life.

It’s a lot easier to live your life by the law of attraction. I fail at that a lot. Mostly because I am tired and I give a lot of myself to my job and to others. I haven’t perfected the art of saying no or of turning away from people in need, but somehow I don’t think that’s a bad thing.

The point I am trying to make is, you don’t have to be perfect to want to make a difference in your life or the life of others. You only need to have the desire to change, and you have to want to be better than you are. I think it goes something like that. But I suppose as long as at the end, you choose to be a better person who contributes and changes for a positive outcome, then it’s worth it. At least I hope so.

Here’s to the hard choices ahead and the strength and courage we will need to endure them.

Happy days

Coffee cups Saturday- When it gets hard!!!

I’m not going to say this week was easy. In fact it was a lot more emotional than I was expecting and damn if I know why, it’s been more than a year. Maybe there are times I miss my dad more and this week was his birthday, so I couldn’t stop being sad and tearful and then something did happen. I’m not sure if you believe in messages or people who come into your life at the right time, but in all that despair I felt hope. It’s hard to feel hope sometimes because choosing to follow a dream is not easy when no one understands it but the people who have followed your path. I’m lucky to have friends, awesome amazing Rita nominee friends I might add, who understand.

When I tell people I quit my full time job to follow a dream, they say, wow that’s so nice. I know it is because I believe in myself and I know that I will succeed. It’s a burning inside my gut that’s like a monster that needs to be fed and if it means I have to do what it takes to achieve that dream, then it’s what I will do. For me I can see the end result, I can see the end goal. I visualise and feel my success and if I close my eyes, it’s there with a certainty. Unfortunately no one else lives in my mind. No one can see the amazing future ahead.

So you’re wondering what the message was right? Well it came on dad’s birthday. Had me in tears but it was something I couldn’t refute. All I can tell you is that things happen in life that change you. You grow and change and evolve, but what doesn’t change is the love a parent has for a child. I’m not sure if you believe in the afterlife or angels and spirit guides, but I do believe that sometimes it’s possible for people to be supported in achieving their goals, or be given support when things get tough. So you might think this is waffling on, or you might take a moment to breath and take in your surroundings and be thankful for what you have in life and the people who share it.

Life is too short not to make the best of every opportunity you’re given. Yes it’s hard. Damn it’s hard. Ask me how hard it is to try and live a dream when everyone who is meant to care for you is against you, but hey, if you don’t believe in yourself, who will?

You take care and be safe- much love and hugs.

Coffee Cups Saturday- Binge Watching

Thanks to Lightbox I have been indulging in some down time. Please don’t judge me, but my brain needs to soak in some creative dialogue in the form of background noise and I find Downton Abbey a great source of the right stuff. I think what got me hooked was the bit on woman having opinions- Lady Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess: has a view and it is simple . Her granddaughter should not have an opinion until she is married–then her husband will tell her what her opinions are.

Witty dialogue and drama in a classic setting. If you haven’t started watching this series, then you’re definitely in for a treat, but I will warn you. It does become addictive and do warn the rest of the family they might hear laughing and screaming if you’re watching it on your IPAD.

So it’s Saturday and I spent a productive afternoon with 2 absolutely fabulous people and we have been doing some work for the RWNZ conference coming in August. I keep forgetting there are people out there who can identify what a major thing this is and they are so willing to help. RWNZ rocks and Love Thrills is going to be another event to remember. Now I am actually looking forward to this conference and it’s not this event I have to get through.

I think I am going to enjoy and relax this year. Well here’s hoping.

No rest for the wicked though. It’s back to work tomorrow.

Here’s another one of my faves- seriously- if you haven’t started watching then get yourself to a Downton Abbey series near you.