Believe It or Not!!!

The last two weeks have been meh. Being someone who can’t stand the cold- it didn’t help that Auckland has been having a cold spell. At times like this it’s hard to be perky, especially when you’re trying to keep it all together. So after a strong dose of antibiotics to fight off a chest infection and after a jab of the good stuff to bring up the B12 levels, maybe perky is an understatement, but at least I’m feeling human again. Okay, almost human again. Anyway back to the important stuff, while I was in my ‘there has to be something better than this phase?’ I decided I was tired of doing nothing to help myself.

I know I’m meant to be busy planning conferences and focusing on being President of a Romance Writers organisation, but I wanted to do something for me. Something that would perk me up and make me believe that all this work and hard sweat was towards something.

So I set myself a goal and decided I would go all out to achieve it. After all, that’s what I do. At least that’s what I try my best to do. So I did my thing and gave it all I had and I hit #1 on the Amazon Best Seller List.

#4 in the Mystery/Thriller and Suspense List.

Do you know this means I can call myself a Best selling author. It’s not as prestigous as NYT or USA best selling, but it is best selling.

That’s huge. That’s a wow. I suppose it’s like making it into the minor leagues.

So my point is- great things do come to those who work hard to achieve their dreams. If you want something, you have to work at it. If you’re not willing to work at something or fight to achieve what you want, then it’s not worth the effort. So aim high, dream big and know that the work you put in will be rewarded.

Much good luck to you, I’m keeping my high for now:-)


number one best seller


Almost hump day!!

To me it feels more like a Monday than a Tuesday evening but what do I know. When you have busy weeks they all seem to melt into each other and you focus on getting through the day rather than thinking about the end of the week.

So you can tell, it’s the usual end of the quarter stuff, which for us in the medical world means, meet those health targets before June 30th. I could say a lot more about how I feel about pushing through lists but I’m too tired for a political debate.

So instead I will focus on this. While I was listening to my usual positive ‘No Excuses’ meditation, I could literally feel all the signs of stress I had. It’s one thing to know about the signs and talk to people about managing their stress levels, but it’s definitely a whole other thing when you have an outer body type experience and you can see yourself in a state of high anxiety.

Writing about it helps, hence the blog and the change in theme of the blog recently. But there is something else that helps too. Focus. Absolute focus on what the end goal is.

Absolute belief this is going to work out and everything will fall into place. So just when I feel I am coming down that slippery slide of hope-less-ness- I have to take a moment, take a breath, believe.

Yes it’s like holding onto something fragile , while being flushed by a huge force, but guess what, you don’t go on this journey alone.

It’s only when I am rushing around, trying to keep up, and find my daughter has my breakfast and coffee ready, that I realize, I am lucky. Really lucky to be given this chance to go after what I really want. Something my parents never had the chance to do. It’s a gift to be able to live your dream, one I am grateful for. It will be so easy to give up. So easy to slip back into the non believer, or the person who walks away from this all consuming need to be different. Be fulfilled. Be amazed at what the world can offer.

I know, it’s me rambling on again, but you know what. This keeps me focused. It keeps me grounded and when I can see that end goal and I know that every shift, every tired never ending day brings me a step closer to what I really want, then it’s worth it.

So again we go on this roller coaster. I think it’s okay to do that. As long as we recognize the signs of that oncoming bus or truck that has exhaustion and burn out in big bright letters on the side. So keep yourself safe.

Music, candles and meditation just to relax. Or maybe just take it easy and do nothing. Pace yourself. Because when your dream does come true, it’s going to be all go!!!

Coffee cups Saturday- When it gets hard!!!

I’m not going to say this week was easy. In fact it was a lot more emotional than I was expecting and damn if I know why, it’s been more than a year. Maybe there are times I miss my dad more and this week was his birthday, so I couldn’t stop being sad and tearful and then something did happen. I’m not sure if you believe in messages or people who come into your life at the right time, but in all that despair I felt hope. It’s hard to feel hope sometimes because choosing to follow a dream is not easy when no one understands it but the people who have followed your path. I’m lucky to have friends, awesome amazing Rita nominee friends I might add, who understand.

When I tell people I quit my full time job to follow a dream, they say, wow that’s so nice. I know it is because I believe in myself and I know that I will succeed. It’s a burning inside my gut that’s like a monster that needs to be fed and if it means I have to do what it takes to achieve that dream, then it’s what I will do. For me I can see the end result, I can see the end goal. I visualise and feel my success and if I close my eyes, it’s there with a certainty. Unfortunately no one else lives in my mind. No one can see the amazing future ahead.

So you’re wondering what the message was right? Well it came on dad’s birthday. Had me in tears but it was something I couldn’t refute. All I can tell you is that things happen in life that change you. You grow and change and evolve, but what doesn’t change is the love a parent has for a child. I’m not sure if you believe in the afterlife or angels and spirit guides, but I do believe that sometimes it’s possible for people to be supported in achieving their goals, or be given support when things get tough. So you might think this is waffling on, or you might take a moment to breath and take in your surroundings and be thankful for what you have in life and the people who share it.

Life is too short not to make the best of every opportunity you’re given. Yes it’s hard. Damn it’s hard. Ask me how hard it is to try and live a dream when everyone who is meant to care for you is against you, but hey, if you don’t believe in yourself, who will?

You take care and be safe- much love and hugs.

Believing in the Impossible

Growing up I was addicted to two things. Books and television. In exactly that order. I would read anything I could get my hands on, from Noddy to Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys, to every Mills and Boon book I could hide away from my English Teacher, to the cereal box when I was desperate.

When it came to television, I would watch all the dramas and series and one of my favourites was MacGyver. Did I ever think that one day, I would stand in front of him and shake his hand, or take a photo with him? That would be a NO. If you asked me 30 years ago, I would have told you, it was impossible. That never in a million years would I, an Indian girl from a small town in a country that practiced Apartheid would grow up to one day meet Richard Dean Anderson. But you know what, I did and it really happened.

So I have to believe that impossible things can become possible if you believe enough in yourself.

This weekend I met an amazing author who I am in awe of. She is brilliant and I want to be her when I grow up. I happened to think Karen Rose writes the most exciting and scintillating thrillers, and I got to have an actual conversation with her. It might not mean a lot to others, but to me, it means the world that she would give me advice and help me not be as fearful of the next step I am about to make.

I look around and am blessed with friends and even strangers who haveĀ  faith in this journey and the change in direction I am taking.

As scary as this is, and believe me it is one of the scariest things I have done in my life apart from hand my daughter the keys to my car, I look at my children and realise it is by believing in impossibilities coming true that, I have made the impossible seem possible for them. If I did that and my daughter can say with such surety she will meet her TV hero , then maybe somewhere along the way, I did something right:-)