To me it feels more like a Monday than a Tuesday evening but what do I know. When you have busy weeks they all seem to melt into each other and you focus on getting through the day rather than thinking about the end of the week.
So you can tell, it’s the usual end of the quarter stuff, which for us in the medical world means, meet those health targets before June 30th. I could say a lot more about how I feel about pushing through lists but I’m too tired for a political debate.
So instead I will focus on this. While I was listening to my usual positive ‘No Excuses’ meditation, I could literally feel all the signs of stress I had. It’s one thing to know about the signs and talk to people about managing their stress levels, but it’s definitely a whole other thing when you have an outer body type experience and you can see yourself in a state of high anxiety.
Writing about it helps, hence the blog and the change in theme of the blog recently. But there is something else that helps too. Focus. Absolute focus on what the end goal is.
Absolute belief this is going to work out and everything will fall into place. So just when I feel I am coming down that slippery slide of hope-less-ness- I have to take a moment, take a breath, believe.
Yes it’s like holding onto something fragile , while being flushed by a huge force, but guess what, you don’t go on this journey alone.
It’s only when I am rushing around, trying to keep up, and find my daughter has my breakfast and coffee ready, that I realize, I am lucky. Really lucky to be given this chance to go after what I really want. Something my parents never had the chance to do. It’s a gift to be able to live your dream, one I am grateful for. It will be so easy to give up. So easy to slip back into the non believer, or the person who walks away from this all consuming need to be different. Be fulfilled. Be amazed at what the world can offer.
I know, it’s me rambling on again, but you know what. This keeps me focused. It keeps me grounded and when I can see that end goal and I know that every shift, every tired never ending day brings me a step closer to what I really want, then it’s worth it.
So again we go on this roller coaster. I think it’s okay to do that. As long as we recognize the signs of that oncoming bus or truck that has exhaustion and burn out in big bright letters on the side. So keep yourself safe.
Music, candles and meditation just to relax. Or maybe just take it easy and do nothing. Pace yourself. Because when your dream does come true, it’s going to be all go!!!